There are many challenges that come with being a parent, and knowing when your child may need extra help is one of those challenges. Children are such a gift to our world and it is our job to help them grow into happy, healthy, and good human beings. With the fast pace of change within our world and society, the way parents need support is also changing.

So how do you know when you need an outside perspective?

Baseline Tracking Method We believe that you know your child best. We suggest that when tracking a “baseline” for your child’s development and behavior, think of what is “typical” behavior for your child. Here are some questions to consider:

Are they usually happy and easy-going or do they tend to fluctuate in their emotions? Are they usually more outspoken and opinionated? Or do they usually tend to be more of an observer and listener?

Every child has an innate personality that we should always take into consideration when considering their baseline. Anything outside of their normal baseline is categorized as a symptom.

For example, if your child tends to have a lot of energy and to be very active on a daily basis, no matter how much that exhausts you, this is a baseline for your child. But if you notice this energy increasing to a point where the child is unable to wind down for bed or is having sleep issues, or if the child suddenly stops being active and seems to have lower energy levels throughout the day, then these would be symptoms to take note of that may indicate a change or a symptom that does not align with “normal” behavior even compared to your child’s baseline personality.

Anything that seems out of the ordinary is worth exploring further.

How do I know it’s time to schedule a therapy appointment? We suggest scheduling a therapy appointment when every day tasks become a struggle and significant relationships are negatively affected. Even just feeling “off” can be a legitimate sign.

The same rules apply to children. I would recommend tuning out all the “noise” from parenting blogs and websites, social media, and well meaning friends and family, and taking a minute to really take a good look at your child and what you feel they may be experiencing.

Below are some questions you can ask yourself about your child to get a general idea:

  • How are they performing at school?
  • How are their relationships with their friends? Peers? Siblings? Teachers? Parents?
  • What are they doing during their leisure time?
  • Are they staying active? Or have you noticed a shift and they seem to have lower energy?
  • Are there challenges to stay focused and complete responsibilities or assignments?
  • Are there challenges with their confidence and having a hard time trying new things?
  • Have their sleeping and/or eating habits been disrupted by the changes you’ve noticed?
  • Am I noticing my own frustrations with my child increasing and my patience decreasing?
  • Are other people struggling to communicate with my child including their teachers and peers?
  • Are they having trouble regulating their emotions? Do they cry often, have tantrums, or become easily irritated?

Once you decide it’s time to schedule an appointment with a therapist to explore your child’s needs, finding a therapist with training in play therapy is the next step.

What is unique about training in play therapy is that therapists are taught to speak in a way that is almost as if they are speaking a new language. I have had many children ask me during sessions, “Why do you talk so funny?”

The language we use in play therapy is very intentional to the therapeutic process in that it is meant to be encouraging, curious, and nonjudgmental. So what is play therapy?

What is Play Therapy? Play therapy is the most recommended form of treatment for children as it takes into consideration each child’s age and abilities and meets the child where they are developmentally.

In play therapy, the therapist uses play materials (toys, games, art materials, books, etc.) to work with the child in processing their day-to-day encounters with other people and the new experiences they take part in.

Children under the age of 10 developmentally are not able to process their experiences through traditional talk therapy as they do not always have the vocabulary. Depending on the child’s age, the language and processing centers of the brain are not fully developed.

Even children older than 10 and teenagers can benefit from the techniques of play therapy to help them process and understand their emotions and experiences.

Play therapists believe the toys act as words and using the toys through play helps the child process whatever they are going through with various play themes. Initially, play is child-led, which means the child chooses what to play with and how to play with the toys as the therapist focuses on play themes and connecting those themes with whatever emotions the child may be feeling.

When a child begins play therapy, the initial goal is for the child to get comfortable in the therapeutic setting with the play materials. Another goal is for the therapist to build a supportive relationship with the child and help the child feel seen and heard. As therapy progresses, depending on the concerns, the therapist can take a more directive role in the playroom as they incorporate techniques to help the child gain insight and understanding through play.

Once the child is able to gain insight and understanding, tools are taught to help the child address their behaviors of concern.

How Heartspace uses Play Therapy to Help Young People Find Transformation. I have worked with children who set up the same play scenario and repeat play themes over several sessions, and then eventually at a later session, play with an item they have never selected before.

At this point, a play therapist would explore how the child has transitioned from that initial theme of play and work towards helping the child incorporate tools to positively adjust their behavior outside the therapy room.

What initially looks just like playing with toys is actually a clinical approach that is intentional to working with children and meeting them on their developmental level.

Why we LOVE parent involvement in the process. One of the best approaches to working with children is Family Play Therapy because not only does the therapist work with the child, the therapist also addresses the dynamic of the family.

In this type of therapy, the therapist works with the family to gain an understanding of the child’s behaviors and then are taught tools and approaches to work together to help support the child at home. A key factor is parent coaching and support.

Let’s explore one example of how Family Play Therapy can be used.

Imagine a child displaying signs of ADHD that is struggling with the following: transitions to new tasks at home and school, trouble sitting still, easily distracted, and displaying symptoms of anger and poor emotional regulation.

The therapist can work with the family on a plan for more structure in the home through the use of role playing different home scenarios, working together to create a story for their family system, or using art techniques to help each member express their emotions at various points during the day outlining their stress and where they would like to have more structure and support.

Using this approach, the therapist is able to support each family member and address the entire family to work together as a whole rather than focusing solely on the child and then expecting them to go home and try to adjust their behavior without the support of their family.

Using a team approach when working with children is beneficial as we are made to be in community with each other. And when there is a lack of support from the community (family members) and communication and connection is low, that’s when we tend to notice changes in behavior in the youngest members of the family.

So, when working with children, the goal is not to have the therapist “fix” the child. The goal is to help address the family, the child’s community, and help boost connection and support in order to create lasting change.

Some final words of encouragement… the earlier the intervention, the better. We strongly recommend not to wait until symptoms are unbearable or unmanageable.

The earlier a child can learn what tools work for them to support them in their growth and become virtuous and happy human beings, the more of what they have learned in therapy will help them function at their own personal “baseline”.

To learn more about our services for children and teens, we invite you to schedule a free intro call with our child therapist, Heather. 

You can schedule through our website (CLICK HERE), or call 321-345-9129 and one of our wonderful admin team members will help.