I have to admit, my least favorite romance movie is Jerry Maguire. And the most infamous line from the movie, “You complete me,” is what ruined the movie for me. I remember rolling my eyes so far into the back of my head and groaning when I heard that line.
Forgive me if it happens to be one of your favorites. I do ask that you hear me out on why that specific line just doesn’t quite meet the mark when it comes to love.
My husband has many wonderful qualities and I love him so incredibly much. But my husband does not complete me. There is a lot of truth to the statements long-time married couples make when they say, “I love you more than the day I married you.”
The day we got married, we had no idea how hard it would be to choose each other every day. Especially on days when we were up all night with our baby, or when he got home late every night for a few weeks working on a big project at work, or spending hours in the car on your Saturdays running errands and doing chores or carting kids off to soccer practice and dance class and birthday parties.
The day we got married, we were not aware of what the better times and the worst times would look like. We were not aware of when we would be blessed with health and challenged with sickness. We did not understand the challenges of providing for our family with our resources and our time.
We also had not truly learned how to serve each other in love even through the worst of times. We had not learned how to honor and respect each other through frustrations and anger. We had not learned how to support and encourage each other in good times and in bad times. All of this continues to be a journey until death do us part.
Inspiration from the Sacred Heart of Jesus In the month of June, we celebrate the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. There is much we can learn and be inspired by from both of these devotions when it comes to having a great marriage.
Saint Pope John Paul II in his teaching on Theology of the Body described the complementarity of the masculine and the feminine within the marriage. Both of the qualities and makeup of what it means to be a husband and to be a wife are meant to complement each other, not compete with one another.
The symbols we can look at in the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus include the Heart with the crown of thorns, the flame, the cross, and the wound in the side of the Heart.
The Heart with the crown of thorns represents Jesus’ immense love for humanity and the suffering he experienced for our redemption. In my work with couples, I have found that it is more impactful in the marriage when spouses do some sort of task or “sacrifice” out of love for their spouse.
These tasks can be small, such as filling up her gas tank when she has a long week coming up, or letting him have the last cookie. These tasks can also be bigger sacrifices, such as moving to another state away from family due to a new job opportunity for your spouse, or relying on one car in order to help pay off your financial debts.
This is the love we are called to daily in our marriages. Our life is no longer just our own. And the beauty of this sacrificial love is that overcoming challenges together in marriage will strengthen your marriage.
A team approach to love and sacrifice The image of the flame indicates how your love for your spouse is a purifying and transformational type of love. The love you have for your spouse and the sacrifices you are called to make for the betterment of your marriage and family will test you and therefore purify your love for your family.
The goal is to be a stronger and better version of yourself and you should be growing and adapting throughout your marriage. If you are not growing as a person, how is that leading you to heaven?
The image of the cross indicates the challenges of marriage, the daily struggles and the unforeseen circumstances. We are all called to pick up our crosses daily and when we do that with our spouse, it helps ease the burden.
There may also be crosses that you are supposed to bear within marriage and with your spouse. Your spouse could have a job that requires constant moving and traveling which makes it difficult to settle down; or you could be facing fertility challenges.
These are challenges that are not meant to be faced alone. There is real power in going through these situations with your spouse. I’ve seen many couples come out on the other side stronger because they did it together.
The wound in the side of the Sacred Heart indicates the sin of this world. There will be many challenges we face in this world that will affect your marriage in various ways. And there may be wounds that directly affect your marriage.
Continuing to turn toward each other and turn towards God will bring you out of those challenges. Your spouse is meant to walk beside you throughout life. There will be times when that may seem physically or mentally impossible, but with God all things are possible.
Learning how to love like the Immaculate Heart of Mary Looking to the Immaculate Heart of Mary we can learn how to love freely, faithfully, totally, and fruitfully. From Mary, we can learn how to receive the graces and love from God as she did.
When our beloved wants to do something nice for us, even if it feels like too much or we feel like they are going too far out of the way, imagine the freedom you would have in relinquishing control and ideas of perfection and accepting them loving you in that way.
For example, it’s easy to feel guilty that my husband is driving kids to practice for the 3rd night in a row so I can have alone time, but I can make a choice to receive that love. And in choosing to receive my husband’s love, I’m in turn also receiving God’s love through my beloved.
The roses in the image representing Mary’s grace and purity can inspire us to live faithfully to our spouse. And her heart pierced by a sword represents her interior reflection of the challenges she will face. This can inspire couples to live faithfully and not be afraid of the challenges they may face.
Pray over and for your spouse, and continue to bring your concerns and troubles to God together.
The flame represents her love for God and all humanity. This can inspire couples to live freely and totally for God and for the fruit of their marriage.
The fruit of a faithful marriage is not only growing your family, it also includes how your marriage inspires others to faithfully conquer their fears and trials together, to totally love each other through the good and bad times, continue to freely choose each other daily, and to sacrifice for each other.
The perfect models for marriage As imperfect humans, my spouse and I choose daily to continue learning how to grow in virtue, love, and mercy for each other. Some days are easier than others. Yet, we have comfort knowing that we can rely on Jesus who already possesses these qualities perfectly.
His Sacred Heart is the perfect model for our marriage. And He is the one who completes us in our marriage. The Immaculate Heart of Mary is the perfect model to receive those qualities.
This is the complementarity of the masculine and the feminine. In looking to the image of the Sacred Heart, marriages can be inspired by the immense love and sacrifice for the redemption of mankind. In applying that to your marriage, the passionate love and sacrifice you make for your spouse will hopefully bear fruit and provide a life full of virtue and hope.
Entrusting your marriage and family to the Sacred Heart of Jesus Incorporating these symbols, couples can use these images of masculine and feminine to inspire peace in their families and turn to them in need for comfort and grace.
When trials come during your marriage, trust in Jesus to give you grace.
When there is a lack of peace in your family, ask Jesus for his guidance.
When there is fear for the future, ask Jesus to light your way.
When you feel far from God, trust in Jesus that He will pull you closer to Him.
When you feel like your heart is hardened with anger and frustration, trust in Jesus to give you strength.
When you feel tension and separation in your homes, ask Jesus to bring peace to your homes.
When you feel weak in your faith and your marriage, ask Jesus to build you up again.
And when you feel afraid to face Jesus, ask Mary to accompany you on the way back to His Sacred Heart and to teach you how to receive His love.
We invite you to continue to entrust your marriage and family with the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, to be your guides and your support, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do you part.
We would love to help support you and your spouse (or a loved one) to have a more faithful and fruitful marriage.
We offer free phone consultations to see if couples counseling will be a good fit. You can schedule your free phone consultation by clicking HERE. Or call us at 321-345-9129 and our team can assist you in setting up a consultation.
Please join us in prayer of the Memorare to the Sacred Heart:
“Remember, O most sweet Jesus, that no one who has had recourse to Your Sacred Heart, implored its help, or sought its mercy was ever abandoned. Encouraged with confidence, O tenderest of hearts, we present ourselves before You, crushed beneath the weight of our sins. In our misery, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, despise not our simple prayers, but mercifully grant our requests. Amen.” Jesus, I trust in You